Elizabeth’s Neighborhood

So, twice a year someone (or no one) has to sit through the agony that is Anna Reflecting On X Years Of One Or The Other Of Her Children's Life.

My wee baby Lily turns 3 today. Well, in fact she turned 3 about 4 1/2 hours ago.

Before I had children (I nearly wrote 'before I was a mother', how vomit inducing!) I always brushed my mum off when she started out with this time 6 years ago or this time 18 years ago as I felt she was being unnecessarily sentimental. However, having spawned two very sweet girls, I feel compelled now to say this time 3 years ago ...

April 3rd 2005 - 11:05am

... I was lying in my hospital bed, having recently been moved there after the large blood loss had finally eased. It was grey and raining outside, which at the time seemed to me like a lovely sort of day to enter the world. My parents, Michael's parents and Georgia were all in there with me, which I found a little overwhelming.

For some reason I found myself quite awestruck by Lily, much more so than Georgia (I still feel a bit this way). She was so weird looking, but even when she was just a few hours old her eyes darted around in a way that was so familiar to me. I almost felt as though I didn't want anyone else to hold her; that in some way, she was a little person I'd been waiting for my whole life, and I wasn't going to let these people take away any of my time with her. When the visitors finally left, I lay in my bed, listened to the rain and stroked the (weird looking) face of this little person I knew so well, even though she'd hardly been here at all.

As the days went on, I grew to enjoy my connection with Lily more than just about anything else. I was so happy to have her nestled into me in the middle of the night while I breastfed her (9 months I did that, I thought I was pretty clever). I was so happy to hear her gurgling and laughing. She gradually became less weird looking, and before long I realised she had the most beautiful eyes. Like, in the whole world. She's not at all photogenic and always looks a bit like a lunatic when I try to capture her on film, but there is nothing sweeter than the eyes looking up at me from behind her crazy person hair. They are such a deep blue and framed by such long, dark eyelashes, and there is so much spirit in them

Now that she's 3, I am amazed by her every single day. It is nigh impossible to articulate just what it is that makes her so amazing, but everyone she meets knows that she is. She is so quick witted and articulate and just clever, I would love to be able to see what's going on inside her head. She has an incredible imagination and fondness for the completely ridiculous and sometimes I wonder if she might just grow up to be more than slightly similar to the likes of Tim Burton and Hunter S. Thompson (with fewer drugs, hopefully). She just has that eccentricity about her that I can't.quite.catch. in words.

So, 'Mimmel' (how do you spell that anyway?), my little honey (I had never called anyone 'honey' in my life until I met you, but somehow that's what you are), happy birthday. You have given me three whole years of laughter and extreme wonderment, the likes of which I'd never known. I can't even tell you how much I love you (but it's something like a million billion trillion INFINITY +1).

Love, mum.

woot new PSU aqquaired ........... ok this would be good news but alas after after installing the new spiffy PSU i have the same problems which leads me to the only other option lets see thats replace my  Gforce cards as they FUCKIN DONT WORK and i dont get paid for 2 weeks >.< nooooooooooooooo

well I have my new board and processor but alas the PSU I semmi purchased(i got a new case) does not seem to be adequate for my 6600GT or my 6800GT so I'm stuck i have no access to nething that has a 3D req as it drains to much juice and my PC shuts off, so here i am ranting cause i still can not play wow i have how ever made some very nice BG's witch I can not be asses uploading due to their 2mb file size. i may upload 1 but i doubt ne1 will see it

I am currently in a state of board yet carntbebotheredtogetup state of mind, Here I sit waitin for an electrician to come and fix my faulty phone line while at the same time praying that my PC doesn't reset on me and wishin i had the spare money to just splurge on a hole new system but being the bum that i am atm i find that sitting here and complaining about stuff to my cat is all I feel like doing AKA "all I can afford to do" oh and typing this for the purpose of prosperity or sum such. Mind my cat has this uncanny ability to look at you dead in the eye and seems to say "like i care" then mews at nothing and walks off, mind the walk of and the eye's that say stuff is a common cat trait but its the sarcasm in it that amasses me.

<insert image here>
           ^  ^
          (o_o) mew mew
          { ; ; }~~~

now what was I saying, oh yes the cat oh wait.... I am waitin and contributing to the random crap that seems to populate the internet yaaa for stuff and things woo damn I could use a nice bourbon about now would help defrost me a bit stupid winter mind it doesn't help I live in a giant esky.

Hmmm lets see about 4 weeks from now i should if all goes well have a spakin new PC one that dosent crash on me every other second.

oh I should mention why well ..... woot I got a fricken job took me a lot of rejection letters but i have obtained the ability to tell centerlink to go fuck them selves again .... well after i start anyway, I must admit that it feels good to have a job after 2 years of searching its not much but its a lot better then the pittance i get from the government atm.

and i also have what looks like a second job in the works so i will loose a lot of my current spare time but i am happy to exchange it for actual work ...... doing nothing is the most boring thing in the world and alas it seems to just make u want to sleep all day which causes all sorts of other problems.

I just wish i could say that this temp job will last but at least it gets me current work experience and better chances for a full time job in the future.

I just dont like my work history it kinda limited my work options.... let me clarify

studied IT for 5 years got board and kinda pissed at the institute i was attending and got a job offer to do bricklaying for a family company which was good and all but thats not important what is important is I injured my back twice in 2 years and the second time i was having servire muscle strength loss and well as the pain lots a pain did i mention the pain... and during this recovery time ( still fuckn hurts on occasions but im stuck with it) i decided that i was probly not in the best thing for me so i decide to take a break and fall back on my IT stuffs, i mean the MSCE didnt go out of date but the ammount of knockbacks i got cause my qualls where a couple of years old shits me to no end i mean to be honest they dont teach the younger generation shit and expect gold.

the big thing that got to me the other day was me and a mate where having the age old argument of AMD V Intel and he mentioned the way intel changed the way the measure clock speed for the core DUO processors and how AMD base their speeds of the Intel equiv no if u have half a brain and think u will realise that a core DUO is this -

Intel dude : hay lets make a processor with 2 core's
Other Intel dude : sweet idea
Intel dude: oh but we need to change the way it measured as it a 2 in 1 system
Other Intel dude: ah make it look more impressive, I like.

ok so that fake but in essence the core duo is 2 processor core's in a single chip, no this does not make ur programs run faster just allows u to do a second stirn of processes to run a full speed in the back ground (true multi-tasking) and as this is all it is it should still use the old crystle diode measure, just has 2 core's so the results will be it has 2 4000mhz processors rather then the imagined figure they currently use. im gunna shutup now i rant way to much and im way off topic woo

end rant ......................................... or is it

What sites show up if you type "S" into your browser's address bar?

omg this questions is like WTF I mean really from a standard point of view typing "S" in to your address bar will result in the letter "S" in your address bar ???? i mean u could maybe hit enter and get like a domain not found but really challange the mind, try coming up with questions on crack or meth :P

In my last rant i mentioned that i borrowed a board with cap death i admit that i did not explain what this is, Cap death is basically the resisters on the board dieing and causing the Top (cap) to expand the resisters still function but in a very unreliable way. in my case the resisters carn't handle much more than the base current running through them so nething that requires more causes them to fail which resets the system due to voltage loss, the systems is ok to run non intensive programs such as browsers and typing apps but it will still reset randomly, but nething that required more resources such as my wow addiction cause it to reset in a matter of minutes its gone from an average of an hour per reset to 5 minutes per reset in the last week.

This means that not only can i not do nething fun on my PC, but i need to replace my entire system as it currently uses a socket478 processor which has been phased out and no full sized boards r bing produced, oh they r still around but they r in the band of $500 au plus and i have priced midrange systems to around $450 so time to upgrade wooo or i would be saying woo but new system = reinstall of my OS which is an almost beta version of XPpro it runs nice and stable but it hates being installed and take lots of fucking around. you may ask why not go upgrade to vista while I'm at i, well my current oppion's of vista is OMG VISTA IS CRAP oh sorry bout that but with the couple of weeks play and several of my tech friends ( except 1) hate it, so many bugs and no basic daig the OS sucks to not only find whats wrong but u then need to spend hours and i mean hours going through the thousands of fucken prompts and menus to find the setting u need, don't get me wrong vista runs well but from a tech's view i hate it bring back dos fuck that was stable sure u had to type but hell at lest it didn't chew resources like a kid in a candy store, and what a great load time what 2 seconds :) mind LINUX has come a long way in a year i may go over but it still lacking in emulation to run a lot of available software, if there was a stable LINUX windows emulator hell ide smash all my Microsoft OS software have a big bonfire, though im worried that the burning would unleash demon's from the depths of hell.

Lets start with OMG my computer sucks yep sucks i went through 2 main boards in a matter of minutes and am currently useing a borrowed CPU and board with the board in the troughs of cap death.

this kind of sucks as i have been without a PC for a day and a half.

no to my current problem of my mouse and as such the main part of my rant for the day as such i have come to the conclusion that the world at large hates me and just does lots of little things to piss me off. well back to the mouse i have just recently purchased a Microsoft wireless laser mouse and have discovered that it does not like charging so even though it has been on the charger for the past 2 days it is flat as a tack and as i needed to reinstall my main board, Ethernet and other various drivers it's a royal pain when the mouse does not work and at this point you may be asking yourself why not use the old mouse well i wish i could i loved my old mouse kinda to much tough love i think as well it is very much dead oh i still have it just carn't bare to part with it yet i mean i had the thing for over 8 years, and has to be the best peripheral i have had the opportunity to use, now my old mouse was a microsoft intelli mouse a V1 big and light and i have huge hands so it worked well but now days you are lucky if you can find a mouse that is bigger than a matchbox and it sucks.

but im gunna leave the mouse on the charger for a bit more and see if it comes back to life or weather i take it back.

ide put some pics up but im to lasy an the keymouse function is slow and tedious, so maybe later.

Lets see to start some background is in order, after 5 years IT training and casual work i get bored of codeing and become an bricky mind this is a huge job change but fun all the same, newho 2 back injury's later i decide ill go back to a less demanding job....that was 2 years ago been after work bah bah.

now to my current story all was well the first interview was good (didn't fuck up and had a good impression), the work trial went very well and hay im just that good, but hears the kicker not only did I not get the job all of the others that applied missed out as well, now u may be asking why, was it just they decided na don't need new staff, but alas not the case I call about the job and what does he say "sorry u where top on the list but and old college asked if I had any work and I gave him the job" and i went FUCK. I should at this point say this seems to happen alot to me >.<

let me see first, I decided to get mom flowers for her MD and went for the potted kind (i should have guessed she would want me to plant the damn thing for her) well that was good and the day was good.................till i came home and discovered to my horror that my World of warcraft credit had run out, now this is not such a big thing happens all the time but not when my funds for my addiction = 0 yep a wopen 0 as such i now need to find an en devour to fill in the large gaping amount of time i would normal spend playing wow and i have a feeling it will be reading or annoying the crap out'a my girl. i may even attempt to do them both at the same time.

I may try out my artistic side and pull out the old photo shop and go nuts, my creative moments are few and far between.

hmm that would be rant number 2 and i must say that not a lot of interesting stuff seems to happen to me.