Oh frabjous day!

In lieu of an actual update, I present you with a pretty little twitter box:

ash and emma

In my completely unbiased, professional opinion, this is the most amazing man in the world.

Not only did he wait for me for years, but since then he has been nothing but awesome - supporting me through a lot of hard stuff, hanging out with me all day while we were unemployed, going and getting a real job to support an eventual family (which turned out to happen sooner than we'd anticipated).

He has ridden the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy and beyond with me; held my hands in that horrible labour ward for hours despite concussion and accompanying nausea; will get up to the baby in the middle of the night, despite the fact he works full-time, just so I can get some sleep.

He can cook, and fix my computer, and run around with me for hours in WoW.

He comes home with chocolate when I need him to.

He is the only person I would consider having children for, and I am so excited to be getting married to him in three months time.

Happy Anniversary Ash.

Show us your last text message.

A bit of fluff for a Friday morning - we're going with it.

Last received:

"Just have to ring activations i do it all the time"

Last sent:

"Ass munching piece of shit can't find the internet now for no reason"

Both relating to my format and reinstall of windows yesterday. We moved my computer upstairs so I could be in the living space with the baby all day, rather than up and down and up the stairs all day - and, when she finally falls asleep, I could put her straight down instead of her sleeping on me for hours. Good in theory. We bought a USB wireless adapter, but my Windows is old and grumpy and won't recognise USB devices a lot of the time. Ash just had a PC at work with the same problem, and they fixed it with a format. So I pull out all my program disks and get busy.

The activations comment is because Microsoft thinks I'm dodgy because I actually do take care of my computer and format it on a semi-regular basis - too many times according to them. So I have to call them each time and get a new magic number for my legal copy of Windows, like a good little citizen.

The "Ass munching piece of shit" refers to the stupid wireless adapter that, after I finally got working again, couldn't find the Internet for three hours. Good thing I have a spanking new copy of Office 2007 to make me happy in the pants. I can't help it, I'm a secretary at heart. (At this point I know I am embracing the devil, but hey, I eat McDonald's and drink Coke too.)

This morning, after my computer failed to recognise any USB device plugged in (except my mouse, thank goodness!), I took the modem from downstairs and put the adapter on Ash's computer, with no problems whatsoever. Crisis averted - no Internet makes me angry at the world, and sad in the pants.

When we moved to a country town, I didn't think the 'country' part would be actually next-door, but this is the view over the fence this afternoon:

Next-door neighbour

Apparently they (there's at least two sheep) have been there for at least a week. At least they don't bleat all day.

bleat

Brought to you by the same abandoned property occupied by Pot and Brick.

Show us a photograph from a wedding.
Submitted by Connie.

oops

Not my car, nor my wedding, but making the day memorable for someone other than the bride and groom.

Yesterday marks one week until my due date, according to the ultrasounds.

Today marks one week until my 'offical' due date.

Tomorrow marks one week until the date I should be due, according to my cycles.

Can't be too far away, now.

Not usually something I do, but a copy/paste of something that made me laugh (a lot):

Questions (and answers) about pregnancy:

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.

Q: Can a woman get pregnant from a toilet seat?
A: Yes, but the baby would be awfully funny looking.

Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex once a year.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A: The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.

Q: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.

Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I can't go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what you're doing with them.

Q: What is a chastity belt?
A: A labor-saving device.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
A: When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
A: Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A: It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
A: When it's a girl, for starters.

Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A: In your breasts.

Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.

Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q: How does one sanitize nipples?
A: Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q: What are the terrible twos?
A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
A: Yes, but it's much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Nannies aren't cheap are they?
A: Not usually, but occasionally you'll find a floozy.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Enough with the baby talk/thoughts/dreams, already. I'd like some peace of mind, if only for a few minutes, before it arrives. Guess what this entire post is about? Feel free to skip it.

Ash is being a good sport about it all, and the look he gets that says "I'm bored now, can we talk about/do something else" is far less frequent that is used to be, because he is indulging me I guess. And, really, I'm just talking at him, not with him, about stuff - to make me feel better to have gotten it out, and to clarify things in my head. I know this is something I'm good at - Cameron used to complain when we were at the supermarket and I would ask his opinion on what we should get, and then I would get what I wanted anyway. Just because I'm not going to listen to your opinion doesn't mean I don't need to ask the question.

It's the out-of-nowhere questions that get the "huh?" look - mainly in the car. Because we have to travel an hour into 'town', nearly every minute of that trip I spend lost in baby land, wondering how bad it's going to be travelling that road having contractions, and then following that train of thought into hospital and newborn and coming home speculation. So comments that have come from a logical place in my head, don't seem that way when after 15 minutes of silence I ask Ash if his phone has a stopwatch, or if we should get more towels. (To time contractions, and in case my waters break in the car. Duh). I guess it helps with the anxiety.

I'm using my best coping technique with the panic and anxiety - I'm trying to ignore it. It's not a very pro-active technique, I realise, but it hasn't let me down in the past. If I can metaphorically sit in the corner with my fingers in my ears going 'lah lah lah', the problem will eventually go away, or come to a point where I can manage (or where I have to manage). And sometimes it's good. Sometimes I remember that I'm going to have a cute, squishy baby who wants nothing but my boobs, and to sleep, and thats good. If I can think of that, and not remind myself that the cute squishy baby will hurt my poor boobs trying to suck them off my body, and scream, and not sleep, and will get pee/poo/puke/other-bodily-fluids over everything, including me, then I am doing ok.

One month to go.

I finally got around to washing the baby's stuff:

washing line

This only a quarter of what is on my washing line right now - the rest is full of bunny rugs, muslins, and bed linen. I still have to wash the towels. And then I have to wash our actual dirty things.

I'm going to need more pegs.